Fear; I’m forming a new partnership with it.
I’m going to share with you my new partnership with fear, wtf that even means, and how it’s affected my business positively.
Finding out where my anxiety comes from (*tips hat to ADHD* *winks at imposter syndrome*) has been a tremendous help in managing my fears and deciding on forming a partnership with it. Just like any good partnership, communication is key. Being clear and knowing expectations up front have been the foundations of great partnerships with others. So applying that to myself, asking myself questions and making an attempt to find out the root of each whisper of fear, or at least thinking about it, has been so helpful for me.
Just like any good partnership, communication is key.
Fear and I
Fear seems to be the thing that often stands in the way of a lot of things for a lot of people. Especially me. Fear of judgment, fear of failure– the usual crew.
It is easy to make a habit of letting fear be the ruler. I assume I’m in control by not feeding the fear and so it won’t grow. However, by focusing on not letting the fear grow, I’m also hindering my personal growth. I’ve been working on creating a partnership with fear for the past few months. I realized fear was in control and it had been for a while. Maybe I can attribute the realization to the PPD/PPA that was ruling my life. I decided to go to therapy because I needed to get this figured out. Not only do I want to be the best person I can be for myself, my family, and friends, but I’m also running my own business. So, fear, we’re teaming up and you’re coming on this ride with me.
Enter my new partner. We’re on equal levels and listen to one another. Yeah, that’s right; fear, I’ll hear you out when you’re being rational. But the thing is, I plan on rising and continuing to be damn good at what I do, so rise with me, or get left behind. /termsofpartnership
Gettin’ down to business
Business-owning and anxiety (fear), for me, are like oil and water. I can shake it up so they appear to work together for really brief periods, but it just doesn’t work. I can only shake so much you know?!
One of the best things that I’ve done in the past few months for my business, follows some advice I’d been ignoring for a long time (because it is scary). *insert laugh track*
I know, I know. But it’s not what you think.
As much as I enjoy going to “networking events” with strangers, who I feel like I can’t talk to; no, no, I’m sure they are nice people, it’s just that my brain and my mouth will not do the thing. Anyway, FEAR.
But guess what I already did/do every. Single. Day.
I have made more friends on social media than Irl, so why wouldn’t I be able to connect with other people there with the intent to grow our businesses together?
When I first came to this realization, I was honestly still just looking for friends. Someone who was doing their own things, freelancing, just like me.
So I wouldn’t feel alone. Because let me tell you, working for yourself is lonely af.
Using my existing social accounts with this new purpose allowed me to better get to know people I already had a connection with and form some solid collaborations. I’ve shared experiences with some really amazing women who have taught me so much, not only business-related but in setting expectations and being clear in our communication with one another and the goals we have separately and together. That stuff translates right over to regular (non-work) life.
I’ve also found someone who completes and compliments what I offer myself and we’ve been able to partner up on client projects together. Projects that wouldn’t be realistic, for me anyway, to do alone.
Working out this little bit of fear has not only allowed my business and hers to grow, but each of us is flourishing in different aspects of our lives. That’s some magic.
The Future for Fear and I
I’m working on ignoring that fear of failure and allowing room for mistakes. Mistakes don’t equate to failure but learning experiences and growth.
I’m ignoring that fear of judgment and I’ll be sharing, posting, and maybe shouting from the rooftops about what I’m doing if I feel like it! (Tbh, my Scorpio moon is cringing so hard right now.)
I’m just going to try. I’m going to try because if I don’t try, THAT is failure and that is letting fear take the lead again.
I’ve upgraded to a new Yoda quote, because yeah, yeah, “do or do not”, but sometimes I just need to do not for self-care you know 😉
I don’t expect my partnership with fear to be perfect, as partnerships never are. But I do expect to thrive, to rise, to grow, and I have no plans on doing it alone. I’m taking the lead, bringing fear with me, and who knows, maybe you’ll be risin’ on up with me too.